Wheee! It's time for 'Conversations with the Rock Dog!'My how time flies when you're having fun. I can't believe it's been two weeks already since my memorable (if somewhat ill-fated) trip to the beach. I have lots to talk about this week, so I'd better get right to it. Pictures this time are from today's visit to my Aunt Fergie's house in Washington. One of her pet people just celebrated his, like, 455th birthday or something so we went out to help with the celebration. She's a Boston Terrier. She lives just a few miles from the Columbia River near the foot of Mt. Adams. She owns 26 acres of forest and meadow. She taught me all about running through grass that's twice as tall as you are. We sneezed and sneezed! It was so much fun. She told me about chasing deer, but we didn't see any today.
OK, important safety message for all people owners. Brooms, rakes and mops are extremely dangerous to the health and well being of your people. By themselves, they look harmless enough, but they have a tendency to attach themselves to people and have a very negative effect on them. First, the handle attaches to their hands. Then it takes your people racing around the room or down the sidewalk. They can't seem to let go, and usually they experience muscle spasms in their arms. I've rescued my people many times from these terrible attacks. It's very difficult, though. Snarling, snapping and barking have little effect. Be VERY careful when attempting a rescue from a mop. If you move to the side opposite your pet person the floor becomes very slippery and walking becomes very treacherous. I'm speaking from first-hand experience with all of this. Keep your people away from these items. That's all I can say.
I rode the train down to Saturday Market again this weekend. My pet person got into conversation with a man there who was very insistent about the fact that I was going to grow up to weigh 80 lbs and be a really mean dog. He was absolutely convinced I was going to become this monstrous creature. It really upset me. Why, I saw miniature horses in the 4th of July parade that weren't that big! That night I had this terrible nightmare. These men came into my house and took my little crate and replaced it with this huge box. It was kind of neat, it had electric lights and a hot tub over on one side, but it was so big and empty and I was so lonely, I huddled up in one corner and started to cry. Then I woke up and I was still in my little blue crate and I'm still a little dog, so I think everything will be OK.
From time to time I get mail from other dogs experiencing difficulties of one kind or another in the care and raising of their people. I thought it might be helpful if I could share some of my insights with everyone who reads this. So, with much fanfare, I present:
Conversations with Rocky!
My first letter comes from Gus-Gus
"Hey, man!Hey! Right back atcha Gus-Gus...I'm in FULL agreement with you on the 'fetch' thing! My people are disgusted with me, 'cause they say that the word RETRIEVER in my name means I should RETRIEVE! (I take it that's a fancy word for 'fetch'.) Hang tough, and don't let them bully you. Oh! BULL-y! Get it? Get it? I kill myself... Augustus Johnson (Gus-Gus to my friends)"
Ooh, that old Retriever problem, huh? Bad news, guy. That's like being a deer with a bulls-eye (BULLs-eye! Ha! I kill me too!) painted on your chest. You're doomed, fella. Better put on your running shoes and get a mit. You might try this - some dogs actually get by with this 'dumb dog' act, you know, sit there cross-eyed with your tongue hanging out to one side, and chant over and over "I'm a Beagle, yeah, I'm a Beagle." Oh, that reminds me - A Toy Poodle, a Blood Hound and a Beagle jump off a bridge to go swimming. The Poodle and the Blood Hound surface and look for the Beagle, but he's not there yet because he had to stop and ask for directions on the way down. Ha Ha! And I have another one - How do you drive a Beagle crazy? Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner! heee heee heee!
This is my last update for a few weeks. My people are going on vacation. I keep hearing them talk about 'doggie boot camp' or something like that. It make me a little nervous, but I'm sure everything will be ok. See you later!
Rocky!
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I'm a Staffordshire
Bull Terrier
Fergie is a Boston
Terrier
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